So here it is you miserable feckers and moaning old farts, yes there here, any complaints tough I'm collapsed out with a cup of camomile tea and a poppy seed sandwich
here they are
End of Season Board Award results
Best Poster: Right yer Cnuts, seems a bit of a ULUFC love fest going on here, not so sure about bromances usually, but seems a jodhpur wearing fop was a little close to the winner, unlucky Rids, but this year’s winner by a cock hair. I give you a peroxide blonde, sandal wearing barra boy ,bravo TC 10 and IMO well deserved for all the banter, he in the flesh is a fantastic bloke, and again I say GET TO A MEET UP all the guys I’ve met are top notch guys and having a pint with em is proper quality.
Funniest Thread: This is a blatant act of cnutism, a respected and quite funny thread in TMs Cardiff Meet up was gazumped by quite frankly an out n out attempt to win this category at the last minute, from the Heron fanciers twitching club, Stewarts enquiry I think needed (not that I know who the feckin hell Stewart is) but your dodgy winner is Snoddy the weather man, feck me bring back wincey Willis FFS
Best Researcher: Well no real surprises here,97% of you supported this choice, Daniel2 seems you are now the apprentice, but our winner sat on his island, somewhere darn sarth, trawling t net is, our own Sheppey, take a bow mate for your endless work for this board, an award truly deserved on our annual ding dong.
Player of the Year: With the season we’ve just had, this has not being the usual one player stands out year. Nominations were made for Berardi and Janson, both Ayling and Bartley got equal amounts of votes, but your winner and deservedly so with 30 goals. I give you Chris (Blockov) Wood, let’s hope we see another 30 to see us into the prem
Coach of the Year: There’s always feckin one who plays a village idiot, this time we got 2, can’t beat a BOGOF, with 757 and Wallace Arnold as funny as these were, they will not be featuring in the winners enclosure, but it made me chuckle. Anyway on with matters in hand, these awards were first drafted before recent proceedings, some left this blank. We all know he didn’t want to stay, but all the same, Monk won this hands down, but now we must look upwards and onwards MOT ALAW.
Donkey of the Year: Could somebody give me the ULUFC official Drug dealer’s info please, because it must be top quality gear some are smoking on here. We had a nomination for Joey Barton. Man that’s far out, anyway seems we had a two horse race, although one was a genuine donkey, t other one were a snake, but Grimes fell just short of our winner, who really is a silly boy. I give you Charlie Taylor
Most Knowledgeable Poster: Knowledgeable and our beautiful LUFC, are not things I associate with many places claiming fact on LUFC. We have had on this forum, some of the greatest BS merchants ever, definitely they were the Ernest Hemmingway of cow dung, but this award is for the genuinely knowledgeable and engaging amongst our happy crew. Willow, Marshy and Devon got a mention here, with Sheppey in 2ndplace, but your winner stomping to the winning line is Daniel2
Best Thread. Wow longish list here, lots of appreciated threads, match day thread, Euro sweep, RKC, new manager, summer transfers, and weather related (FIX) Leeds v Derby, what happened to the Preston Thread. I do need the drug dealers info for here though as sewing related threads got 2 nominations ,(El Presidente Pete must have left his contacts numbers, before he left our shores),Marshys boxing thread seems popular, but beaten by a whisker is TMs Cardiff gallery meet up.
Best Act Of Cnutism: Well what a reet bunch of cnuts we all are, but this award has its own merits, Rids gained 2 separate categories, 1 for nicking an E cig,t other for his hairstyle. Tc was nominated for anything that goes off, as he’s never far away. Cellinos reign were given a punt, how dare that the suggestion, of me taking over this auspicious part of the season, should be deemed an act of cnutism ( minds no smoke without fire)Your winner is although he/she is no longer with us, due to it seems too much sun and cheap opiates, I suspect, downed with copious amounts of moonshine, our Deena takes this award, alas she’s not allowed to take the award personally, so it’s being suggested Rids hands it to her, before or after the royal shenanigans .makes no matter either way, as it probably won’t to the pair of them either.
Dimmest Poster: What a feckin set of bottleless cnuts some of you are, this most controversial but needed title is up there,but many left this blank, votes cast were for Monkeyman ,StevetheMouse ,Snoddy, YRA, but out in the lead is our wonderful TC10, best but dimmest poster, not bad for a Parisian, Mad Dog 20 20 cocktail drinking market trader
The Heron Award For Poshest Poster: Well well well, seems that we have a chaser for this role, Bac was on the heels, but out by a herons bum, we still have Lord Snodgrass, prawn sandwiches and Pimms anyone
Board King: How the bloody hellI got a nomination for this, I’m blowed if I know, however Rids and Rui gained a couple for this, but out in front by a country mile, and he moaned last time he didn’t win jack, well this year’s board king is our own Kivo take a bow and shut the feck up yer moanin ol sod lol, bet he takes it back after this season
Board Queen: TC,TM,Wakey and Guis all got a single nomination, but alas a poster who again cannot take their award, tis our Deena, Seems our Rids will be laden down with her, oh never mind you can all use your imaginations, she won this by a country mile.
The Meerkat Award For Weirdest Poster: This a flyaway winner, and yet again a poster who seriously we all hope gets the help they need, wins this one deservedly hands down, shame our Deena over did it but again drink and drugs need to be handled with care, just ask our President Kiwi Pete, he takes care to make sure the wife’s out for the weekend, when he goes on a bender.
Best Username: Wow an award that’s not going to Deena, another dodgy act of cnutism that appeared around board award time, anyway, quite a few got a vote but ISAMIR and Rids got 2 a piece, but pipped to the post by the new boy on the block and a pleasure to meet at the QPR debacle, well done Great White Sharkey
Poster You'd Most Like To Meet: Two of you want to meet us all, hope you got lots of wonga for some of the flights overseas, but King Curry ,Kiwi Pete and Willow all got 2 ,but our dearly departed (not dead just stopped posting and left the board) is our own batfastard Jez, he will be contacted on his win, hope your lurking a bit fella.
Funniest Poster: A fair fewnominations with one vote. But BF and TM both got 2 votes, Wakey and Snoddy got 3, but with his MDTs consisting of Douglas Bader, the Chuckle brothers and everyone that’s career is scraping the barrel (a bit like mine after this malarkey) I give you King of the Lambrini TC10 who incidentally buys a bottle but asks for 2 glasses, as not to look a Billy No Mates, but anyone supping Lambrini are I’m afraid usually on their own.
Best Overseas Poster: this was so nearly a 2 horse race; there were shouts for Kiwi Pete, Bac, SA and TM. Runner up on the rail was our own Marshy, but out in front by a stretch I give you de gooseflesh Icelandic White, what an overseas star.
Most Respected Poster: Absolute loads of single votes for this one, but with 2 votes our prawn sandwich, directors box sponsor and all round ace guy Bac comes in third with our truly missed Willow in 2nd, and a gnats cock hair behind TM, hellfire Kivo 2 awards this year you moaned about not getting one last time out, but you are truly respected, and in the flesh truly a gentleman and fantastic bloke, again guys you’ll only find this out at meet ups make the effort and go, you will not regret it.
Post Whore: How the chuff did I get a single vote for this, oh well takes allsorts I suppose, SA and TC, also received a single vote, but bet you don’t need 3 guesses to who won this hands down, yup Rids secret love queen, ooops that were supposed to stay in me PM’s as he wanted a dual at dawn with me using condoms filled with shaving foam. Ah well as I said drugs and drink any way a board sweep by our dearly departed Deena.
Most Negative Poster: A few surprises here, single votes for Wakey and Daniel2,the Saturday MDT crew were mentioned for when we go a goal down, Herm surprisingly got 2.But way way out in front for complete misery and negativity, I give you Thackley White, we still love ya Thackers keep it real dude.
Favourite Poster: Lots of single votes here, but in 2nd joint place there is TC10, Kivo and amazingly me your own Vader, but all of us have being pipped by the Diva of the dancefloor by one vote step forward Wakey the boards favourite poster.
Most Missed Poster: Seems there’s many missed on here but joint 3rd with 2 votes are Mini Mi and Greg, in 2nd joint place with 4 votes are Willow and Batfastard, who we hope one day will return with Willow a pair the board mourns at the loss of posts from. The winner and this is personally a very sad one is Skygod, he was amazing at finding information to all sorts of situations and dilemmas, as well as fascinating football facts, usually bang on correctly on everything he shared, we had amazing chats on PM and he is very sadly missed RIP George old friend and truly a board legend.
Best Sig: You can tell its circus season, clowns to the left jokers to the right oh yes, Bloody Marlboro and Regal best sigs, wouldn't want one personally from what I remember. Marlboro were sh1te smokes,wold rather have Jamaican Old Holborn anyway this is the first joint winners this year, and before you start it’s not a fix, it’s in black and white on the choices of you lot. Me and Bac take joint first, well done Brian sir, personally think yours is a cracker
Best Newcomer Well boys n girls, this will come as no surprise, but in 2nd place we have Ronaldo Viera, but our own Good heart these days is The Great Sharkey White, well done Dan, hope we meet again next season, fantastic lad, these met ups alright I’ll give it a rest but try one
Funniest Incident At A Meet: lots here Kivos dress sense with Hawaiian shirts and Timmy Mallet glasses, but Wakey you seem legendary in your dinner hour dude, yup mistook Ludacris for Marshy and tried giving Lu Marshy’s ticket, that’s great, but here’s the King of Wigan Casino, yes he’s the Northern Soul king with his pint of mild and bitter mix and a ferret darn his kegs, Wakey you are one cool dude sir I salute you.
Best Mod: In fairness all our Mods do a tremendous job on this board, but Shep who was voted 2nd behind joint first of Kivo and Ludacris, who do us proud
I give you my first end of season board awards, do as you will comment as you wish, congratulations each and every one of you, this board would die without you all, winners get these accolades on your signatures. Valium and wine now needed.